


Self Reliance

by Juniper200



Series: Selves [2]
Category: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Genre: Character Study, Other, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 13:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniper200/pseuds/Juniper200
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can he trust them to save themselves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self Reliance

It used to be that sleep would take him immediately most nights, his exhaustion dragging him through the pillow and into nothingness. He was only a boy when he learned that his best chance for peace lay in exerting himself until his body’s cries for rest drowned out his worries until morning. As he grew in size and strength, it took more work to quell his thoughts at night, but he has never been anything if not persistent.

He’s a grown man now, and the work isn’t always enough. His worries are too big to crush between hammer and anvil, and no amount of swordplay will trim them to a manageable size. The last time he went aloft, the widening horizon only gave his fears room to expand.

Tonight, he clutched Elizabeth to his chest for what seemed like hours and reached across her body to touch Jack, reassuring himself that they were there and he was there with them. It wasn’t enough; they fell asleep fast enough, but the blood continued to rush in his ears and his breathing came uneven long after Jack and Elizabeth had slipped away.

He sits up, turns and puts his feet on the floor in one motion. Someone has left a book draped face down over the cannon that bounds the bed on one side as though the barrel were a strange iron night table. He marks the page and sets the book in a safer place on the writing desk, mindful that one never knows when the guns will be needed.

He shudders and surveys the cabin. At any time, they could find themselves in battle and he could find himself robbed of the things he needs most.

Elizabeth sighs, restless now that the smooth curve of her back is exposed to the air, and he makes for the bed to climb back in and keep his lady’s body warm and her dreams untroubled. She settles, though, and he stops at the foot of the bed. If he holds her again, will she dream of safety or of chains? His instinct is to put himself between Elizabeth and anything that could hurt her, but she didn’t come to sea to live a safe life. They still struggle, trying to strike a balance between the shelter he wants to extend and the protection she’s willing to accept. He wishes he could trust himself not to hold her too tightly

She stirs again, one leg slowly sweeping across the expanse of sheet as though testing unfamiliar waters. Without him at her back, she sprawls across the bed, slides her hand under his pillow. She has always been the one to easily slide into new situations, her personality and temperament liquid next to his iron. It took little persuading to make him follow, but she took the first steps to bring them to sea and then into Jack’s bed.

Jack, given his choice, would spend the night clinging to either Elizabeth or her husband (he’s choosy, but not fussy) like an unshaven limpet. But with Elizabeth exploring the territory at the edge of the bed, he turns inward, pulling his knee toward his chest. As he moves, he brushes against the wall separating the private cabin from the rest of the captain’s quarters, and he cleaves to the Pearl. Snaking his arm above his head, he stretches, and the corner of his mouth twitches as he presses himself against the wood. His erstwhile bedmate leans forward, anxious to hear what Jack might say in his sleep, but the half-mumble, half-groan means nothing to him.

Jack is a hard man to know, even to a man who has shared his bed and devoted considerable time to worming through his defenses. His help won Jack the Pearl and his consent gave him Elizabeth and himself. A part of Jack needs him, he reasons, if only as a strong arm to fight his battles or another set of eyes to watch his back when he’s too distracted by his own theatrics to watch it himself. So he will know the man as best he can, hoping the knowledge will help him stay needed.

He watches them sleep, wishing he could know them both better, the better to keep them safe. There are times when he forgets to worry and he marvels at the riches he’s been granted in the work that fills his days and the hearts and bodies that entertain his nights. But then the fear he will lose everything again crashes back, stronger for his revelation. His peace of mind is tenuous, but he will do everything in his power to maintain it.

The ship falls into the trough of a wave, and Elizabeth rolls to the far edge of the bed, her wrist cracking against the cannon. She gasps as she wakes, and her eyes reflect surprise and confusion more than pain. Seizing the moment, he rushes to her side, kissing the hurt spot as he eases into bed. She slides over to accommodate him, and he reaches across her to pull Jack back into their embrace. He hopes he will be lucky and, when they wake, they won’t remember there was a moment in the night when he left their side.


End file.
